I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I said, for what I’ve done, for what I’m doing now. But I just haven’t felt this shitty in a while that I literally can’t do much else but be annoying and angry and sad. 

I really don’t think this’ll be okay in a day and I really don’t want to bother anyone with it. I feel bad enough for bothering Soso, because she deserves better than an emotional wreck on her shoulders again. I’m sorry for attentionwhoring, for saying that I’m okay when I know I’m not, for not saying what’s wrong. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough and I’m sorry that I won’t be good enough.

I’m sorry that I just don’t feel like doing anything right now, nor go to abunaicon, nor go hang out with friends. I’m sorry that maybe I’m not a better friend than I am now.

And I’m sorry that even I don’t think it’s good enough, sorry for thinking that I may as well be a fat, ugly, mean bitch and I’d have as much worth as I do have now. I’m sorry for that too. Don’t go feel sorry for me, but I really feel pretty awful now and it’ll blow the fuck over in a day or two. I hate being emotional. I hate it a lot. 

But writing this down, attentionwhoring as it is, helps more than sitting around in my room and be mad and fucking sad.